The New Reality

I’ve been absent from this pages for a long time, mostly because I’ve been focused on school, and trying to find a new job. I also have been moving, yet again, and trying to settle into a new life, living with my girlfriend of about 8 months.

However, the new reality I want to talk about is the day to day lives we are living under COVID-19 or the Corona Virus.

Schools are closed. Grade schools, colleges, day cares.

Businesses are closed except to essential workers. Grocery stores are open, restaurants are open if they have drive through, delivery, or carry out. People are being laid off left and right because things are crazy.

Maryland is pretty much closed.

Casey (my girlfriend) and I ventured out today to stock up on groceries and a few other things but now we’re going to be trapped inside our apartment. Thank god we have a courtyard with a walkway and a balcony so that we can get some fresh air.

There are no movies, or dates at restaurants, there are no classes or seeing friends or family.

I sit in my living room, on my Nana’s old coffee table that I took before my family sold her house, and pretend like I’m in class. My teacher and classmates look out from my laptop screen and a little white dot shows that my webcam is on and everyone else is seeing my face.

I constantly wonder how I look worse in my webcam than I do in real life. Seeing yourself in a webcam is similar to looking at yourself in your hairdressers mirror with the plastic cape around your neck and wondering “have I always been this ugly?”

A creative writing program is not made for a Zoom classroom. Something gets lost in translation, and the thoughts and notes you get on your writing from classmates starts to feel a little more forced.

It probably is forced. We’re all forcing ourselves to face this new normal, to get up every day and keep going when it would be so easy to just let your bed swallow you whole and your blankets bury you.

This is the new normal for now but the worst part is, we don’t know when it will end.